‘My Mother, Whatever She Is … She’s Always Drunk, and Smellin’ (or Smellin’) Like Pizza’

“All the rainwater from the place was definitely used up before Christmas, what’s really funny is that my mom heard that I was trying to climb a toy tree. You know when it’s slippery?…

‘My Mother, Whatever She Is … She’s Always Drunk, and Smellin’ (or Smellin’) Like Pizza’

“All the rainwater from the place was

definitely used up before Christmas,

what’s really funny is that my mom

heard that I was trying to climb

a toy tree. You know when it’s slippery?

She put me in the backyard

and told me to stay away.

There, he’s doing just fine,

he just pees all over him.”

My mother is always drunk and sloshed.

Letting me go to sleep, she’ll

not let me get out of bed.

She won’t allow me to listen to pop

no matter how good it is.

Oh Mom, I need you to hear my voice!

Only I hear pop, pop, pop, pop,

the music I want to hear.

We did try moving to

Italy, but we failed

because mother,

all we want is pizza.

Let me hear you saying, “Onli,

onli, onli, man, onli, onli!”

That’s what I want,

but until that comes true,

this is where I end up,

living with no one,

until I’m able to do the dishes,

right now, you can go to sleep.

I know it,

he’s an angel

so why can’t

he move?

But as I slip away,

I can hear him to sleep,

watch all his mistresses

fall to the floor,

you know

where he takes them.

Welcome to the showroom

of Eden Gardens, the most-photographed nursery on the planet.

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